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Written by TFP   
Saturday, 14 November 2009 17:02

carrie-prejean-picYes, it's Saturday. Yes, there was a Thursday game. Like the band Chicago after it had turned rancid, it's hard for us to say we're sorry.

Instead of dwelling on what we can't change, let's start the healing process with some picks.

 

Last Week: 3-3

Season: 29-25

 

Pastor Mike (3-6) vs. Internet Mike (5-4)

 

Jay Cutler's -4 stink bomb Thursday night backed our favorite Mike Socia lookalike into an impossible corner. Not even red-hot Maurice Jones-Drew (@NYJ) can bring the sort of firepower necessary to upend the San Diego-bound Ginger, who got a solid performance out of Frank Gore and enters Sunday's games up 16 points. In fact, Internet Mike has a real opportunity to win the Toyota Biggest Blowout with Chris Johnson (vs BUF) and Marques Colston (@ STL) primed for big days. Avert your eyes. Sneaky play: Not Jay Cutler. Internet Mike 71, Pastor Mike 40.

 

Trader Dave (5-4) vs. Pastor Sowers (3-6)

 

For all the squabbling that goes on between these two boobs you'd think they were separated by more than two games. This week, Trader Dave looks to widen that margin and continue his push up the standings with Derrick Mason (@ CLE), Tommy Lee Jones (vs JAX) and newcomer Marshawn Lynch (@ TEN) all having good to great matchups. Conversely, 44 Pouch is flashing some pedestrian starts, including two-time TFP castoff Ted Ginn (vs TB) and banged-up Anquan Boldin. Bring your daughter to the slaughter. Sneaky play: Darren Sproles (vs PHI). Trader Dave 66, Pastor Sowers 48.

 

Team Tommy (3-6) vs. Little Sowers (5-4)

 

Riding a two-game losing streak, Little Sowers receives a much-needed break in his schedule this week as he squares off against Tommy who is no doubt too busy spinning for the GOP's leading ladies (Palin/Prejean) to pay any mind to his fantasy team, which boasts bottom-feeders James Jones (vs DAL) and Jerricho Cotchery (vs JAX), plus ultimate risk/reward play Rick Williams (vs TB). As for Little Sowers, Carson Palmer (@ PIT) and Kevin Smith (@ MIN) are in tought spots but he should get enough from Santonio Holmes (vs CIN), Stephen Jackson (vs NO) and the Vikings defense (vs DET) to hold off the always testy Texan. Sneaky play: Lee Evans (@ TEN). Little Sowers 60, Team Tommy 55.

 

Pastor Steve (5-4) vs. Pastor Jon (6-3)

 

What's that smell?? It's the Game of the Week! Maybe it's time we take Jon seriously. With the exceptions of Santana Moss (diseased team) and Devin Hester (ditto), look at dude's lineup: Aaron Rodgers (vs DAL), Miles Austin (@ GB), Ray Rice (@ CLE), DeAngelo Williams (vs ATL), Akers (@ SD) and Baltimore (@ CLE). Even if Moss, like Hester, brings nothing to dinner, Heeringa has an 80-point squad. Unfortunately for Johnny, the Rogue Clergyman has an 81-point squad. Brady and Welker (@ IND) will hook up at least once, DeSean Jackson should turn in another 60-yard touchdown, and Ron Brown (vs TB) is sexy as all get out. Sneaky play: Kellen Winslow (@ MIA). Pastor Steve 85, Pastor Jon 78.

 

Team Timmy (5-4) vs. Pastor Matt (4-5)

 

Because Pastor Matt complained about the tardiness of this column via social networking, we have deducted 10 points from his projection. Suck on that! Sneaky play: Steve Breaston (vs SEA). Pastor Matt 72, Team Timmy 59.

 

TFP (6-3) vs. Pastor Kirk (4-5)

 

At some point good old TFP's squad is going to get exposed and it might as well be now. Drew Brees (@ STL) should be good for a minimum of 25 points. Randy Moss (@ IND) in a big game? That's worth 13 right there. Rob Bironas (vs BUF) in a rivalry game? (snicker) Sneaky play? Tim Hightower (vs SEA). Pastor Kirk 58, TFP 54.

 

Thanks for stopping by. Here's a Random Song Worth Your Time.

 

 

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