What's not to like about fall? You get college and pro football season, Halloween and Thanksgiving, a climate that's conducive to hiking Camelback Mountain without running the risk of myocardial infarction or heat stroke, plus the big movie studios roll out their most Oscar-friendly flicks. Unfortunately for this year's purposes, we'll have to do without Martin Scorsese's Shutter Island, which has been bumped from its original Oct. 2 release date to Feb. 19, 2010 for financial reasons (apparently, Paramount didn't think it had the money to launch Oscar marketing campaigns for both Shutter Island and Peter Jackson's The Lovely Bones). Personally, I'd go all-in with Scorsese and DiCaprio (you may remember them from such movies like Gangs of New York, The Aviator and The Departed) before anything featuring Mark Wahlberg, but whatever.

QUICK MOVIE PITCH: Has there been a movie made about the dudes who work at the cell phone store? Aren't those places fascinating? Most of the sales reps are typical Lord of the Rings fanboys but you'd be surprised how much scratch they make hocking flip phones. Plus they get to deal with slutty, phone-addicted teenage girls and their hot moms. We'd call our Superbad-style rom-com something like teXt to promote the graphic sexual content and salty language that would no doubt carry the film to box office gold. Plus, we could include these fake movie review snipets in our guerilla marketing campaign...

"I LMAO." - Peter Travers, Rolling Stone

"OMG you must see this movie." - Owen Gleiberman, Entertainment Weekly

"This film is a disgrace. J/K!" - Roger Ebert, Chicago Sun-Times

Anyway, with that, here are some eagerly anticipated movies scheduled for release this fall.

SEPTEMBER

Extract - Friday

Mike Judge ("Beavis and Butt-head", Office Space) is involved so funny is a given. Plus, is there a more likeable dude in Hollywood than Jason Bateman? Paul Rudd, maybe, but it's a photo finish. Extra Point: Mila Kunis in a padded bra that make her look like a C-cup.

The Informant! - Sept. 18

Dramedy from Steven Soderbergh starring Matt Damon as a agri-business executive who flips for the Feds. Scott Bakula is involved so it's got to be good, right? Extra Point: Last time a comedy effectively used an exclamation mark in its title was Top Secret! The bar has been set, Soderbergh.

Jennifer's Body - Sept. 18

Megan Fox is a cheerleader turned vampire in this Diablo Cody-penned script. Fox is uber-hot but can she act? The cast includes Juno scene-stealer J.K. Simmons, "Parks and Recreation" standout Chris Pratt and "O.C." alum Adam Brody. Extra Point: Megan Fox naked and stuff!

Capitalism: A Love Story - Sept. 23

Michael Moore's latest explanation as to why we suck as a country. Extra Point: Michael Moore is portly, yes, but he's smart as a whip.

OCTOBER

A Serious Man - Oct. 2

A black comedy from the Coen Brothers (Raising Arizona, No Country for Old Men) about the upside down life of a college professor in Minnesota. Extra Point: Not only was the movie filmed in Minnesota, but it stars Minnesota natives Sari Wagner, Jessica McManus and Aaron Wolf.

The Invention of Lying - Oct 2 

A Ricky Gervais comedy set in a world where nobody ever lies until a writer (no, not James Frey) takes advantage. Jonah Hill, Jason Bateman, Christopher Guest, Tina Fey, Rob Lowe, Jeffrey Tambor, Louis C.K. and Jennifer Garner join in the fun. Extra Point: Original title was This Side of the Truth. Good move, Rick. 

The Road - Oct. 16

Based on the post-apocalyptic novel by Cormac McCarthy. We weren't as enamored with the book as Oprah was, but a cast of Viggo Mortensen, Guy Pearce and Robert Duvall has us intrigued. Extra Point: To recreate a world in severe trauma, director John Hillcoat filmed The Road in Laughlin, NV. Actually, it was filmed mostly in Pennsylvania, Lousiana and Oregon.

Where the Wild Things Are - Oct. 16

Spike Jonze directs the re-imagining (there's that word again) of the classic children's book. Extra Point: The trailer, set to Arcade Fire's "Wake Up," gave us quarter-chub.

New York, I Love You - Oct. 16

This is something called an "anthology film," a term we'd honestly never heard of, linking several love stories set in New York City. The cast is ridiculous and rather than list every flipping name we'll link to it here in the event you care just that much. Extra Point: The movie is actually 11 short films running about 10 minutes each.

NOVEMBER

The Men Who Stare At Goats - Nov. 6

IMDB gives us this plot: A reporter in Iraq might just have the story of a lifetime when he meets Lyn Cassady, a guy who claims to be a former member of the U.S. Army's First Earth Battalion, a unit that employs paranormal powers in their missions. That's enough for us. Extra Point: Examines the use of the "Barney and Friends" theme on Iraqi prisoners-of-war. No, really.

Pirate Radio - Nov. 13

How is an illegal radio station operating aboard a boat in the North Sea funny? As always, when Philip Seymour Hoffman is involved, questions really aren't necessary. Extra Point: Also being marketed as The Boat That Rocked.

New Moon - Nov. 20

Hahahahahahahaha.

Fantastic Mr. Fox - Nov. 25

Wes Anderson (Rushmore, The Royal Tenenbaums) tries his hand at animation with the help of all his usual players (Owen Wilson, Bill Murray, Willem Defoe, Jason Schwartzman, Adrien Brody, Anjelica Huston), plus that handsome Clooney fella. We're going on record in saying there's no way this movie fails. Extra Point: Check out the trailer.

DECEMBER

The Lovely Bones - Dec. 11

Peter Jackson's Buzz-worthy adaptation of Alice Sebold's 2002 novel about a young girl who is raped and killed, then watches her family adapt to life after her death from heaven. Extra Point. Mark Wahlberg's father role was originally supposed to go to Ryan Gosling but Jackson didn't think Gosling could pull off the age of the character. And Wahlberg's displayed the kind of range that instills confidence?

Avatar - Dec. 18

We still don't know what this movie is all about but here's one plot summary: "In the future, Jake (Sam Worthington), a paraplegic war veteran, is brought to another planet, Pandora, which is inhabited by the Na'vi, a humanoid race with their own language and culture. Those from Earth find themselves at odds with each other and the local culture." Extra Point. James Cameron managed to secure a budget in excess of $300 million, probably because Avatar looks like this.

It's Complicated - Dec. 25

Not to be confused with the Denise Richards reality program on E!, this Nancy Meyers rom-com stars Alec Baldwin and Meryl Streep as a divorced couple who have an affair. Extra Point: We don't have one. Sorry.

Sherlock Holmes - Dec. 25

The 392th movie about Sherlock Holmes stars Robert Downey Jr. as Holmes, Jude Law as Watson, and is directed by Guy Ritchie. Extra Point: Ritchie directed Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels, Snatch and RockNRolla, all of which are undeniably awesome. But he also directed Swept Away, which was undeniably wretched.

We're positively giddy to announce that we've realized our dream of creating a fantasy league from a reality television show. If Fantasy Top Chef is successful, you can look forward to Fantasy Real World / Road Rules: The Gauntlet in early 2010.

The Draft: Over the last week we conducted a seven-team serpentine draft. Using a fantasy football draft randomizer tool (yes, such a thing exists), we set the order and picked our teams...

Pick 1.1 / TFP - Kevin Gillespie

Pick 1.2 / Joe G - Michael Voltaggio

Pick 1.3 / Brandon - Jennifer Carroll

Pick 1.4 / Nathan - Bryan Voltaggio

Pick 1.5 / roughkat - Michael Isabella

Pick 1.6 / Mark S. - Eli Kirshtein

Pick 1.7 / Stinger - Mattin Noblia

Pick 2.1 / Stinger - Pretti Mistry

Pick 2.2 / Mark S. - Hector Santiago

Pick 2.3 / roughkat - Ron Duprat

Pick 2.4 / Nathan - Ash Fulk

Pick 2.5 / Brandon - Ashley Merriman

Pick 2.6 / Joe G. - Laurine Wickett

Pick 2.7 / TFP - Jesse Sandlin

Scoring: Quickfire Challenge wins (4 points), Elimination Challenge wins (8 points), plus bonus points for surviving and advancing in Episodes 3-7 (1 point) and Episodes 8-13 (3 points). If your chef makes it to the final show you receive 10 points and owning the winning chef is worth 25 points.

Draft Analysis: We really liked what Nathan did, grabbing the stiff and uber-competitive Voltaggio brother, Bryan, in Round One and adding Ash Fulk in Round Two. That's a solid team. Stinger supplied the biggest surprise pick when he grabbed Pretti Mistry at the turn. We were really hoping to land Haitian Sensation Ron Duprat with the last pick but instead had to choose between Robin Leventhal and Jesse Sandlin. Brandon went all-girl, taking super sleeper Jennifer Carroll in Round One and overly ambitious outspoken lesbian Ashley Merriman in Round Two.

So, who is the team to beat?

If you scroll down to the previous post you'll see a photo of the lovely and semi-talented Katy Perry, who has three or four bonafide hits to her credit, including "Hot N Cold," a catchy little diddy about (we think) the ebb and flow quality of lustful relationships.

The song may be disposable pop, but it can seamlessly be applied to fantasy football, as we're hot and cold about players on our cheat sheets during the preseason weeks based on injuries and what they do during mostly meaningless exhibition games.

With that in mind, here are some Hot N Cold players that are moving up and down our cheat sheet as we enter the busy weeks of the draft schedule.

HOT

Aaron Rodgers - As we type this entry we're watching Rodgers destroy the Cardinals' defense. He looks light on his feet in and out of the pocket and he's completing nearly every pass he attempts. Rodgers was in our third tier of our quarterback rankings but under no circumstances should he be selected after Tony Romo and Matt Ryan, and we wouldn't even fault you taking him ahead of Warner and Rivers. That would put him fourth behind only Brees, Brady and Manning.

DeAngelo Williams - According to Yahoo!, 2008's fantasy MVP had an Average Draft Position [ADP] of nearly 10 a week ago but a strong preseason (who is this Jonathan Stewart you speak of?) has him up to 7 this week. That's a big jump in Round One. We'd take Williams after the Purple Jesus, Maurice Jones-Drew, Michael Turner and Matt Forte but that's it. We're considering putting him ahead of Larry Fitzgerald, too, but we're not releasing our Nifty Fifty until next week.

Ray Rice - We had a hunch the Ravens were waiting to unleash Rice until his sophomore season, when Willis McGahee was near put-out-to-pasture status and Le'Ron McClain's carriage had turned back into a pumpkin. It's looking like that's the case. Baltimore is a power running team and it appears as though Rice is the lead Clydesdale. Bite on Rice before LenDale White.

Eddie Royal - Josh McDaniel had hoped to cast Eddie Royal in the Wes Welker role of the Broncos' Patriots-style offense but now that Brandon Marshall has been suspended for conduct detrimental to women's faces, we suppose that makes Royal Denver's Randy Moss, only shorter. We used to love Royal as a WR3 but we're starting to believe in him as a WR2.

Felix Jones - He's a bonafide home run guy and with Roy Williams out, we're guessing Dallas is going to make the most of its RBBC. Plus, he looks bigger, no?

Joe Flacco - It's really too bad that Baltimore is set in its defense first, run second philosophy because their QB1 can really chuck it. In fact, we're not sure there's anybody in the league who throws a harder and more accurate out route. He's the real deal and the only question is whether or not the Ravens will turn him loose.

Leon Washington - Yeah, yeah, the only running back with more yards over the last three years than Thomas Jones is LDT. We're not saying Jones is dead but we are saying that Leon Washington is going to have a more prominant role in the Jets' offense.

Chris Henry - The only thing that's going to keep Henry from 9 TDs is if he trips on a white line.

Matt Hasselbeck/TJ Houshmandzadeh - Even without Walter Jones protecting the blind side, these guys are looking like an "it" couple.

Earl Bennett - Cutler is going to throw to somebody and unlike Devin Hester, this guy can catch it.

Tight Ends - It's becoming abundantly clear that you don't have to take Gates, Gonzalez, Witten or Clark in Round 4 or 5 to enjoy stability at the position. Greg Olsen, Visanthe Shiancoe, Zach Miller, Dustin Keller, Brent Celek, John Carlson, Owen Daniels, Chris Cooley, Kellen Winslow, super sleeper Jermichael Finley and even Jeremy Shockey are all serviceable.

COLD

Brandon Marshall - It's seldom that anything good happens when you give a douche with a mean streak a whole bunch of money.

Pierre Thomas - The Mike Bell situation is alarming. Plus, there's still that Reggie Bush guy.

Terrell Owens - He's been MIA since the first preseason game against Tennessee. More importantly, Trent Edwards doesn't look like a guy who can take an offense to the next level, even if that level is "barely efficient."

Joseph Addai - Two words: Donald Brown.

Derrick Ward - We loved him early but Caddy and Earnest Graham are taking way too many carries away.

Donovan McNabb - Hard to ignore the Vick Effect.

Jonathan Stewart - He's got an Achilles injury and last year's fantasy MVP ahead of him on the depth chart. A repeat of 2008's 10 TDs seems extremely unlikely.

Darren McFadden - Still love him as a pass-catching threat but he still doesn't look like a between the tackles runner.

Matt Cassel - Already hurt, he's finding life away from New England far less charmed. Chiefs fans are already turning on him.

Kurt Warner - Beginning to look his age. No quarterback's value hinges more heavily on the play of his offensive line.

Santonio Holmes - Still not ready to take WR1 title from Hines Ward.

Roy Williams - Shoulder injury aside, we're not sure why everyone suddenly loves him.

Wes Welker - Pay attention to your league's scoring. If it's not PPR, you're not getting Top 10-ish WR value.

Leading things off, KDWB-FM in Minneapolis employs a morning show personality named Lena who does a mean Katy Perry, as demonstrated on her Waking Up In Vegas parody. You'll listen twice it's so freakishly delightful and even Packer lovers can't deny its genius. Well, actually they can because they're mostly dimwitted and humorless as a people.

Speaking of Favre, he's slated to play the entire first half Monday night in Houston. We can't shake the bad feeling we have about this move. Dude (and that's "dude" as in "elderly rancher") has been in training camp for all of a week and Chilly's going to have him throw 25-30 live passes with Mario Williams coming to bust him up? Yes, No. 4 looked extremely rusty Friday night against KC but nobody in their right mind (this qualifier instantly eliminates most Vikings fans, of course) expected the Gunslinger to hit Sid Rice for a 60-yard touchdown right out of the chute. A quarter's worth of snaps seems reasonable but a full half is just courting danger. After all, with Cleveland on the schedule in Week One, the Purple have five preseason games in which to work the kinks out of their gray-pubed signal-caller.

Fantasy Top Chef is escalating quickly (thanks to Clarence Swamptown Esquire, er, becker22 for giving us dap over on RandBall). We're up to six teams and have room for a seventh if anyone is interested. If you want to be a part of history, punch your dance card in the comments section.

Finally, while we were at Urban Dictionary making sure we used "dap" properly, we stumbled upon this hilarious entry.

Make it a righteous day.