Now that the season is officially underway, we won't be publishing rankings and other faux fantasy expert content on Fridays. Instead, we'll be running a preview of that week's matchups in the Church League, the nearly decade-old league that a) is comprised almost entirely of working Presbyterian clergy (Jesus cred!) and b) spawned The Fearless Prognosticator bit. Before you throw a hissy fit and vow to never again visit this site on Fridays (if ever), we'll implore you to not be so flipping melodramatic. The preview will contain trace amounts of analysis relevant to all fantasy players, not just the 12 owners who participate in the church league. Plus, you're hating on a bunch of God's front-line soldiers. Pagans.

If you just can't get enough Church League news, you can read our recap of that draft here.

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Pastor Mike vs. Trader Dave

This is a huge week for Trader Dave. Given the trauma he suffered when his all-time favorite player, Brett Favre, came out of retirement (again) to join his all-time least-favorite team, the Vikings, any combination of Favre success with Packer/fantasy failures could send him diving head first into a handle bottle of Captain Morgan. If you've ever seen Trader Dave jacked up on the Captain you'll know why we're rooting for the Bears to destroy the Pack, Favre to throw for 400 yards against the Browns, and Trader Dave to lose to a fantasy team that employs Jay Cutler. It would be a spectacle to behold and seven shades of awesome. Alas, Dave will likely prevail over Pastor Mike. We like Peyton Manning and Anthony Gonzalez at home against a Jaguars team we fully expect to continue its steady regression. Plus, TD's got LDT going against Oakland. In 16 career games against Oakland, Tomlinson has 22 total touchdowns and 2,150 yards from scrimmage. That's a pretty nice season. Trader Dave 62, Pastor Mike 48.

Team Tommy vs. Internet Mike

The defending champs (yes, it's true and it burns like the dickens), Team Tommy, open with a stiff challenge in the form of Internet Mike (whose combo of Tennessee and Hines Ward outscored Tommy's Pittsburgh defense 21-12 Thursday night). Tommy employs the worst trio of wide receivers in the history of fantasy football. Seriously, have you ever seen Three Amigos more unfunny than Jerricho Cotchery, Lee Evans and Torry Holt? What, wasn't Ronald Curry available? Compare those wideouts to Internet Mike's guys Ward, Dwayne Bowe and Marques Colston and you'll see the disparity. Harris has Burner Turner but that won't be nearly enough to save him from the unmerciful beating he so richly deserves. Watch our mancrush Matty Ryan throw for 3-fiddy and 3 TDs. Internet Mike 77, Team Tommy 51.

Pastor Steve vs. Pastor Sowers

Not only is Pastor Steve a tireless supporter of TFP but he's one heckuva fantasy sports mind. He seems to enter every fantasy football season as the prohibitive favorite and this year is no different (he's also the No. 1 seed in Church League fantasy baseball). He'll go as Tom Brady goes, which we suspect will be pretty far. Not only do we love Brady against Buffalo on Monday Night but we also think Chad Johnson is a Top 15 WR at home against the Broncos. Pastor Sowers is countering with Joe Flacco, a quickly less and less relevant Terrell Owens, banged-up Anquan Boldin, banged-up Roy Williams, banged-up Brian Westbrook, and Clinton Portis, who has to run against a fierce Giants defense. Sowers has a decent team but not this week. Oh yes, there will be blood. Pastor Steve 81, Pastor Sowers 49.  

Team Timmy vs. Pastor Jon

What's that smell??? It's the Game of the Week! Call us crazy, but we really like Pastor Jon's team, which is ironic since this is the first time in, like, forever that Jon has actually been responsible for picking his own team. We're double-fisting the Aaron Rodgers Kool-Aid, especially this week at home against a largely fraudulent Chicago defense. Add in Eddie Royal, a No. 3 fantasy WR who can give you WR1 numbers any given week, and DeAngelo Williams, who we love more and more with each sunset, and you've got yourself a nice little nucleus. Jon also has the Baltimore defense, which might hang 20+ on the Chiefs, and Santana Moss, who is the only deep threat on a team that wants to become more vertical with their offense. On the flip, we're not crazy about McNabb or any of the Eagles, and we're worried about Steve Slaton against Rex Ryan's NYJ defense, especially when he could lose goal line carries to Chris Brown. And if Brown totally loses it and smacks Slaton around, well it's really not Tim's day. Pastor Jon 55, Team Timmy 44.

Pastor Kirk vs. Pastor Matt

Remember us ripping Team Tommy's wide receivers earlier in this column? Well, Pastor Matt has equally awful RBs (LenDale White, Jonathan Stewart). If Kurt Warner and Larry Fitzgerald stub their toes at home against the Niners, Pastor Kirk is poised to layeth the smacketh down. It's quite possible that Kirk's top two picks (Brees and Moss) will outscore Pastor Matt's entire team. Mix in a dozen or more points from T.J. Houshmandzadeh and a TD from Ryan Grant and you've got a Bring Your Daughter To The Slaughter [BYDTTS] situation. Pastor Kirk 72, Pastor Matt 50.

TFP vs. Little Sowers

With Santonio "What's Up" Holmes having already hung 12 points on us, it's not looking good for your old pals at TFP. Fortunately, Little Sowers is starting Carson Palmer, who could blow out his Achilles while jogging out of the tunnel, so we've got a chip, a chair, and a prayer. What to make of Steven Jackson? We've seen that guy go anywhere from No. 6 overall to late Round 2. During the RandBall Lite draft the other night, loyal reader Joe G. asked via the Yahoo! chat room, "Does Steven Jackson have AIDS?" After concluding that S-Jax was indeed AIDS-free, Joe quickly drafted him to complete a TOAS running back stable of Purple Jesus, Brandon Jacobs and Jackson (yes, there's a flex position). Speaking All Day, we've got him here, which will be quite weird. We've also got the San Diego defense and Phil Rivers going on Monday night, but he's got Antonio Gates. And he's a Chargers fan. Too many variables to compute. Little Sowers 68, TFP 67.

Thanks, you've been wonderful as ever. We're on a serious redhead kick lately thanks to bodaciously buxom "Mad Men" siren Christina Hendricks so enjoy this Random Song Worth Your Time.

Last night's episode of "Top Chef: Las Vegas" very likely pushed away TC posers who aren't interested in the culinary arts so much as they like the drama of the competition and the eliminations. Too bad, because those who tuned out missed one of the more important episodes of the season.

Clearly, the producers were done messing around with the chefs who were just happy to be invited to the party because last night's challenges were insanely difficult.

For the Quickfire Challenge, the chefs had to prepare snails for Daniel Boulud, an every-so-often "Top Chef" judge who owns a restaurant in Vegas and is kind of a big deal in the world of French cooking. What a great opportunity for the more classically trained competitors to shine, particularly Frenchman Mattin, who loves to squawk about how French cooking is magnifique and Americans are TV dinner-inhaling Cro-Magnons. Mattin is a non-smoking Steffan, only less talented and far less cool.

Not only did the chefs have to cook with a fairly tasteless and incredibily gross protein, but this was a High Stakes Quickfire (!), which meant the loser packs their knives and heads for the airport. We can't recall another Quickfire Elimination but we really dig the concept. What a great way to keep the chefs on their toes. Too often the competitors mail in their Quickfire dishes because immunity is the only reward. We'd like to see more of these surprise Quickfire Eliminations in the future.

The chefs handled the snails with class. Nobody blew up in the kitchen and everyone plated on time. The judges gave sullen nods of approval to Kevin, who won by adding some Southern bacon jam to his escargot, Mike I., and Jen (do not sleep on her). Mattin was left out of the Top 3 and didn't look none too pleased about it. Overconfident much? Loved the fact that a French judge picked North Jersey snails over Mattin's. Yes, we are extremely xenophobic when it comes to Top Chef.

As for the elimination, we kinda knew Jesse was in trouble when she brought out her E.L.T. (a fried escargot, mache and green tomato sandwichy-looking thing). She ended up in the Bottom Three with Robin (who is so far out of her league that we're beginning to feel sorry for her) and Ashley (who is finding herself at-risk far too often given her immense talent and character strength). After a one-bite amuse-bouche cookoff, Jesse was dismissed. (A good news/bad news challenge for Team TFP in Fantasy Top Chef, as we owned both the winner and the loser. Sigh.)

No $15,000 chip for Kevin, but he did receive immunity and a nice little break from cooking--dude was invited to sit at the Elimination Challenge dinner table to talk smart with some culinary titans, including Hubert Keller, Laurent Tourondel and "Chef of the Century" Joel Robuchon. Not a bad gig if you can get it. Plus, our Ginger Bear got to don a sharp-looking suit. We have ZERO regrets taking Kev with the No. 1 pick in the Fantasy Top Chef draft. None.

Anyway, for the six-course Elimination Challenge dinner, the remaining chefs were paired up by protein and sauce. We couldn't have picked better teams ourselves. Jen and Michael V. (there's serious vibe with these two, who would produce some extremely talented and good-looking babies), Bryan and Michael I. (alpha males), Ron and Robin (high unintentional comedy), Ashley and Mattin, Hector and Ash, and Laurine and Eli.

Remember in the opening paragraph when we said that last night's episode was mucho importante? Well, here's why: The teams in the Elimination Challenge illustrated the Haves and Have Nots in this competition. It's become quite apparent to us that there are five chefs who possess the chops to take the Top Chef title: Jen, Mike I, Kevin and the Voltaggio Brothers. That's it. The rest are just filler.

Just watch how things developed in the kitchen. Whereas the top two teams were composed, played off each other's strengths and actually listened to one another, the weaker teams exhibited awful communication and did nothing to distinguish themselves from their peers. Ash failed to step in and make sure Hector's roast came out of the oven on time. Ashley let Mattin walk all over her. And Robin and Ron were a complete trainwreck. Robin should have spent less time flapping her gums and bugging Ron and more time tending to her dead-looking greens. Not that Ron gets a pass. His frog legs (a dish he's done "250" different ways) were a hot mess, and not in a good way. We really thought one of them deserved to go home.

Instead, Hector got axed for his poorly cooked/cut roast. We couldn't disagree more. Not that Hector had a long shelf life in Vegas anyway but he certainly did more to stay than Ron or Robin. Poorly played, judges.

Not surprisingly, Jen/Michael V. and Mike I./Bryan produced the judges' favorite dishes. In the end, Mike and Bryan's cured trout bested Jen and Michael V's rabbit. We thought the rabbit was the tougher and more creative dish but whatever. The producers seem hellbent on playing up the Voltaggio rivalry to point that it runs the risk of becoming silly and Bryan got the win (not to mention a week as guest chef at Robuchon's restaurant). Do we think Top Chef is fixed? No, but we do think certain elements are overly edited/showcased to keep the posers interested. Sorry, that's just the way the world works, people.

Fantasy Top Chef rolls on with TFP (Kevin) and Nathan (Bryan V.) taking 4 and 8 points, respectively, for their chef's challenge wins. You can view the updated standings here.

No more "America's Got Talent." No more "More To Love." No more "Dating In the Dark."

After an truly nauseating summer of reality TV, the fall schedule kicked off in kind with the debut of "Melrose Place 2009" on CW and FX's Season 2 premiere of "Sons of Anarchy," our pick for the top new show of last year. SOA was predictably fantastic and if you're not watching that show you're a damn fool. But we're really here to talk about "Melrose."

In the spirit of full disclosure, we totally forgot about the "Melrose Place" television event until a dude in a Yahoo! fantasy football draft chat room mentioned it. Fortunately, said dude was in Minnesota so we had plenty of time to season pass MP on the DVR. If you missed out, CW is running an encore presentation Friday night. Don't say we never did anything for you.

Despite being devout "90210" fans growing up, we never really embraced the original "Melrose," probably because we never had a girlfriend. Or maybe we never had a girlfriend because we didn't watch "Melrose." Chicken. Egg.

Anyway, thanks to the miracle of cable, we've been able to watch the show in syndication enough to know that it was indeed awesome and every bit worthy of the "Seinfeld" episode dedicated to its greatness. 

So how does the update compare? First, let's look at the formula. The original "Melrose Place" was set in an intimate, uber-swanky L.A. apartment complex in West Hollywood of the same name. Its inhabitants were incredibly good-looking, shamelessly promiscuous and absurdly diabolical. The core cast of eight included Dr. Michael Mancini (Thomas Calabro) and his fashion designer wife Jane (Josie Bisset), sad sack writer Billy Campbell (Andrew Shue), Courtney Thorne-Smith's nice girl receptionist Alison Parker (we'd eventually be introduced to Alison's queen bee bitch of a boss Amanda Woodward, played by Heather Locklear), hunky handyman Jake Hanson (Grant Show), gay social worker Matt Felding (Doug Savant), aerobics instructor Rhonda Blair (Vanessa Williams), and actress/waitress Sandy Harling (Amy Locane). Before the end of Season 1 Locane would be written off the show in favor of Daphne Zuniga's Jo Reynolds, a photographer with a history of domestic abuse. Williams would leave the show but her spot was essentially taken by Locklear. Laura Leighton, who guest starred as Jane's sinister sister Sydney, became a series stallwart in Season 2.

Not surprisingly, Melrose '09 didn't attempt to fix what wasn't broken. The apartment complex seems completely intact and the producers even brought back several actors from the original for cameos, including Calabro in Episode 1. According to IMDB, Bisset and Zuniga will also make appearances. Here's a breakdown of the new generation of MP residents:

Ella Simms (Katie Cassidy) - Ella is the Amanda character. She's a high-profile agent/publicist who goes both ways. A hot, bi-curious blonde who can write a good press release? You had us at hello.

Auggie Kirkpatrick (Colin Egglesfield) - A sensitive sous chef with a dark past (that's the CW's description, which is too perfect to mess with).

Lauren Yung (Stephanie Jacobson) - Lauren is an attractive medical student who struggles with finances and love. She's also a budding entrepreneur (wink, wink).

Riley Richmond (Jessica Lucas) - A stunningly beautiful and indecisive inner city school teacher (aren't they all?) who cohabitates with her starving filmmaker boyfriend, yet can still afford to live in a posh Hollywood apartment. Very Alison-like.

Jonah Miller (Michael Rady) - Engaged to Riley, Jonah is similar in looks and personality to "O.C." alum Adam Brody in that despite his nerdy awkwardness and love of hipster hats, chicks really dig him. And we have our Billy!

David Breck (Shaun Sipos) - Estranged son of Michael Mancini and former boy lover of Sydney. Too douchey for words, which makes him extremely Jake-y.

Violet Foster (Ashlee Simpson-Wentz) - Yes, that Ashlee Simpson-Wentz. Easily the most fascinating character on the show, Violet is an eyelash-batting Midwestern transplant who is without a doubt batshit crazy. It's unknown at this time whether or not she lip-synchs her lines but her acting is deliciously awful.

The entire cast of MP09 makes the original cast look like something out of a Robert Altman movie (Gosford Park, pehaps?) but we're going to have a hard time not watching. 

Jaw-droppingly good-looking youngsters behaving badly set to a trendy Hills-like soundtrack? Don't even pretend you have no interest.

The real question is whether or not MP09 can generate the interest necessary to sustain itself. Are hotties, sex and Lady Gaga enough to keep tweens, young adults, US Weekly subscribers and dirty old men tuning in? Hey, "Smallville" has been green lit by the CW for like nine seasons so we give "Melrose Place" a puncher's chance. 

TFP Grade: B

With Opening Night just two days away, let's review what we've learned over the past month's worth of drafts.

Quarterback value can be obtained later in the draft than you might think.

Sure, it's great to get your grubby little mitts on Tom Brady, Drew Brees or Peyton Manning but consider the Average Draft Position [ADP] of some other quarterbacks before lunging for one of the Top 3 with your first or second pick. All ADPs are courtesy of ESPN.

Aaron Rodgers [30], Kurt Warner [33], Philip Rivers [35], Tony Romo [43], Matt Ryan [50], Donovan McNabb [59], Matt Schaub [65], Jay Cutler [70], Ben Roethlisberger [81], Carson Palmer [85], Brett Favre [103].

Say you're picking 8th in a 12-team draft and you take LaDainian Tomlinson with your first-round pick. When your second-round pick comes up you're elated to see that Drew Brees is still on the board. But wait, you have options. Brandon Jacobs is there. And so is Calvin Johnson. So would you rather start with LDT and Brees, LDT and Jacobs, or LDT and Calvin? We'd go with LDT and Calvin, then take an RB2 in the Round 3, and maybe opt for Tony Romo in Round 4.

Don't balk on taking a wide receiver early.

With an increasing number of leagues incorporating three starting wide receiver slots into lineups, it's more important than ever to secure an elite guy--Larry Fitzgerald [9], Andre Johnson [13], Randy Moss [15], Calvin Johnson [17], Steve Smith [22], Reggie Wayne [23], Greg Jennings [24], Roddy White [28] or Anquan Boldin [29]--early. If you're slotted to pick at the end of the first round and elect to pass on the WR position in Rounds 1 and 2, you're likely going to end up with Marques Colston [33], Dwayne Bowe [39], T.J. Houshmandzadeh [41] as your top wideout in Round 3 and you'll likely have to reach for Braylon Edwards [49], Roy Williams [50] or Chad Johnson [51] as your No. 2 in Round 4 or run the risk being severely handicapped at the position.

Handcuffing running backs is largely overrated.

With so many teams employing Running Back By Committee [RBCC] systems, there's a ton of running back value available later in drafts.

Sure, drafting LeSean McCoy [106] and Fred Jackson [121] to backup Brian Westbrook and Marshawn Lynch is a good idea but do you really want to draft Chester Taylor [115] a round or two earlier than necessary just to insure that you've got The Purple Jesus's stunt double? Plus, you've got the issue of roster space. Would you rather have Chester taking up one of six bench spots or a guy like Donald Brown, who will likely get 40 percent of the Colts' carries right out of the chute? We draft value over emergency plans.

Offensive Coordinators have the job security of a mall Santa.

Tampa Bay, Buffalo and Kansas City all fired their OCs before the start of the season. What's the fantasy impact? It's hard to upgrade anybody who just had their offensive coordinator uprooted, but we sure do hope Tampa's new playcaller will pick a back (preferably Derrick Ward, for selfish reasons) and stick with him. Buffalo figures to keep attempting a no-huddle approach despite lacking the personnel (namely a competent quarterback) to pull it off and Kansas City, well, the Chiefs are going through a tough stretch. Don't laugh, but we still like Kansas City to finish second in the AFC West. Matt Cassel is 50/50 to play against the Ravens on Sunday and Dwayne Bowe and Larry Johnson [56!] are great Buy Low guys on draft day.

Willie Parker gets no love.

Marshawn Lynch [50] is going to miss the first three games of the season but he's being drafted ahead of Willie Parker [52]. Derrick Ward [60] is splitting carries with Earnest Graham and Cadillac Williams yet he's still being drafted in the same round as Parker, who has the unqualified confidence of his coach and a fumbling bust (Rashard Mendenhall) behind him on the depth chart. We'll take the RB1 on a run-first team, thank you very much.

Be wary of preseason red herrings.

Cadillac Williams, Aaron Rodgers, Jermichael Finley, James Davis, Chad Johnson, Hakeem Nicks, Glen Coffee and Mike Bell saw their ADPs soar over the course of the preseason while Kurt Warner, Derrick Ward, Thomas Jones, Pierre Thomas, Terrell Owens and Brandon Marshall saw their ADPs plummet. We're not saying you shouldn't look at the preseason boxscores but just don't overvalue preseason stats or beat yourself up over the draft you completed three weeks ago because you took Warner in Round 4 or Ward in Round 5. The preseason is still the preseason and it's always wise to hold off on evaluating your team until the regular season is underway.

The Wildcat's sex appeal is eroding faster than Gwyneth Paltrow's.

What started as a fun little gimmick has now spread like HPV. We watched a lot of college football over the weekend and it's safe to say that over 50 percent of all programs now run some form of the Wildcat. In the NFL, Philadelphia, Minnesota, Atlanta, Jacksonville, Oakland, Dallas and the New York Jets all joined Miami as Wildcat Believers. This oversaturation can't be good for the long-term viability of the bit as defenses become more and more comfortable recognizing and stopping it. So if you're drafting Michael Vick, Percy Harvin, Felix Jones or Darren McFadden based on Wildcat potential, you may want to temper your expectations.