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Fantasy Football Friday Print E-mail
Written by TFP   
Friday, 02 October 2009 04:16

percyAs we near the quarter pole of the fantasy football season, it's time to reassess what we thought we knew about some players. You know, those imbedded notions that are mostly tied to preseason rankings and make you reach for or ignore the same dudes in all of your drafts.

 

What we thought we knew: Matt Forte is a Top Five running back.

The truth: Forte is a nice running back who is playing second-fiddle in an increasingly pass-first offense. Unfortunately, the Bears' quickly opening throttle hasn't positively impacted Forte's reception numbers. He's got 11 catches through three games after hauling in 63 in 2008. Sunday's game against the Lions might be a make-or-break moment but even if he goes off we're not sure you can get your money back.

 

What we thought we knew: Joe Flacco has a great arm but the Ravens will never turn him loose.

The truth: Even though the Ravens are pounding the ball with Willis McGahee and Ray Rice, Flacco has 6 TDs and 839 yards, which is just 2 yards fewer than everybody's quarter pole MVP Drew Brees. We're so pissed we didn't make getting Flacco as a backup a draft day priority. Instead, we made sure to get Donald Brown and overpaid for him in the process. We're all imperfect sinners.

 

What we thought we knew: The Packers have a Molotov Cocktail offense and will probably go 15-1 en route to a thrilling 42-37 Super Bowl victory over the Patriots.

The truth: Green Bay's troubled offensive line has Aaron Rodgers running for his life (and his 88 yards and a TD on the ground are certainly nice bonuses for his owners). Donald Driver (233 yards, 2 TDs) has been a nice surprise but Greg Jennings, Ryan Grant and preseason sleeper du jour Jermichael Finley have been huge disappointments. That said, we still like Rodgers a ton. He's got a big arm and just seems to get it.

 

What we thought we knew: Tom Brady and Randy Moss are back, baby!

The truth: Brady looks a little rusty and Moss has a bad back and is a baby. We're not terribly worried about their long-term values but we can safely recant preseason projections of 17-20 hookups. Oops. We wouldn't kill you if you traded Brady for Flacco and Marques Colston. In fact, we'd probably give you a heartfelt attaboy.

 

What we thought we knew: The Wildcat offense is relevant.

The truth: Quickly, other than Percy Harvin, name a player whose value is impacted by his involvement in Wildcat shenanigans. We'll wait. Yes, Ronnie Brown had a great game against the Colts but that's just because Miami is the only team that can really perform the schtick. (And honestly, Harvin is just a freakish offensive talent who is playing way beyond his years, so much so that he's usurped Bernard Berrian as Favre's fave.)

 

What we thought we knew: Terrell Owens' star will burn bright no matter where he plays.

The truth: In Yahoo! leagues, Owens is currently ranked behind Chansi Stuckey, Andre Caldwell, Louis Murphy, Jacoby Jones, Mike Sims-Walker and is a country mile behind Pierre Garcon. He didn't catch a pass last week and we can't even advise trying to buy low on him. Part of it is that Trent Edwards could make James Lofton look like James Jett, part of it is that Owens is old, and most of it is that karma is a world-class bitch.

 

Let's get to the picks, eh?

 

Last Week: 5-1 (yeow!)

Season: 12-6

 

Trader Dave (2-1) vs. Pastor Steve (1-2)

It's panic time for the Rogue Clergyman, who is under .500 for the first time ever (in any fantasy league, we think) and now stares across the line of scrimmage to see Trader Dave, the one guy you never want to play when you're on a losing bender. This one has all the sex appeal of an episode of "Mad Men" and it starts with the quarterbacks; Trader Dave has Peyton Manning (vs SEA) and Steve counters with dreamy Tom Brady (vs BAL). You might think that's a big advantage for Trader Dave but we think it's a push. You can't run on Baltimore but the right quarterback can pass on them (see Rivers, Phil). This one probably comes down to running back play. Steve has Brandon Jacobs (@KC) and Matt Forte (vs DET) while Dave is currently starting McGahee (overachieving) and Tashard Choice (although we think he'll fix this if Marion Barber does in fact play as reported today). Advantage: Pastor Steve. Pastor Steve 84, Trader Dave 74.

 

Team Tommy (1-2) vs. Pastor Matt (1-2)

These are two teams going nowhere but Pastor Matt does have the distinction of being the first owner in fantasy football history to start two dudes named Pierre (Garcon, Thomas). So he's got that going for him, which is nice. Tommy's going to need a big day from Romo and Witten (@DEN) but we're not seeing it at all because Denver's defense is much better than anyone expected and the Cowboys are big fat frauds. At least our favorite Republican has Ricky Williams on the payroll so he'll always have a hookup for some killer herb. Favre leads Matt and the Vikings to big wins. Pastor Matt 54, Team Tommy 50.

 

Team Timmy (2-1) vs. Internet Mike (3-0)

With Matty "Ice" Ryan on bye, Internet Mike took the Mark Sanchez plunge. Not a bad play, really, considering the Jets are playing at New Orleans, who despite many reports to the contrary, have no defense. Plus, things generally just work out for Mikey so why should this be any different? Timmy should get a return to greatness game from Steve Slaton (vs OAK) but it won't be enough, assuming of course that Mikey eventually replaces injured Frank Gore in his lineup. Internet Mike 50, Team Timmy 49.

 

Pastor Kirk (2-1) vs. Pastor Sowers (0-3)

You think we're playing it safe this week? Well, we'll show you safe! We're not super high on Drew Brees (vs NYJ) or Randy Moss (vs BAL), and even though Ryan Grant was the last guy to run for 100 yards against the Vikings' Williams Wall his best-case scenario is probably about 80 yards with a TD. Sowers has some excellent matchups and we think Matt Schaub (vs OAK), The Other Steve Smith (@KC) and Ced Benson (@CLE!) will carry the day. Ladies and Gentleman, your Upset Special. Pastor Sowers 67, Pastor Kirk 59.

 

Pastor Jon (1-2) vs. Little Sowers (2-1)

Pastor Jon is our new Feel Good Story of the Year. He's coming off a career-high 79 points and and his kicker is Steven Hauschka. How can you not root for the guy? We were terribly wrong about last week's Raiders/Broncos game being a shootout but we're going back to the well this week for OAK/HOU (that's right, start your Raiders and start your Texans). Look for Jon to get scores from both Zach Miller and Darren McFadden, plus HUGE points from Aaron Rodgers in Minnesota. Pastor Jon 51, Little Sowers 49.

 

TFP (2-1) vs. Pastor Mike (1-2)

Bernard Berrian has to break out sometime, right? All we know is that starting three Vikings (Purple Jesus, Berrian and Shank the Crank) on a weekly basis ain't working out so hot. Thank goodness Pastor Mike stud Maurice Jones-Drew is going against a run-tough team in desperate need of a win (TEN), or else we might run the risk of getting our taints waxed. We like Glen Coffee (vs STL) and Adrian Peterson (vs GB) enough to keep this close but in the end Jay Cutler (vs DET) and Reggie Wayne (vs SEA) will be too much to overcome. Pastor Mike 67, TFP 62. 

 

Keep it real, peeps. Here's a Random Song Worth Your Time. 

  

 

 

Last Updated on Friday, 02 October 2009 15:37
 
So It Begins... Print E-mail
Written by TFP   
Thursday, 01 October 2009 19:38

pb1 challenge day 1It's Day 1 of the PB+1 Challenge, which will see us eat some form of a Peanut Butter sandwich (plus one additional ingredient of our choosing) every day for the month of October. This contest is the brainchild of our friend and kickball teammate Lindsay, who we will be quick to blame should we fall ill or experience some debilitating side effect--IBS, impaired eyesight, hives, chronic sticky fingers, et al.

 

As we begin the Challenge, here are some vital statistics that may be impacted positively or negatively by making peanut butter a core food of our diet. We'll continue to track these stats (and others, if needed) periodically throughout the month.

 

Weight: 199ish

Body Type: Bulky With a Chance of Fat

Mood: Optimistic

Energy Level: Jacked

 

Day 1 Meal (pictured): We prepared a slant on Paula Dean's fried peanut butter and banana sandwich, removing cinnamon and honey from the recipe to stay within the rules. Since we can eat whatever we want with the sandwich as long as it's not too main course-y, we picked up a Big Gulp of Diet Coke (with a splash of Cherry) and a bag of Smartfood white cheddar popcorn. We probably won't mix popcorn with peanut butter again but the sandwich was executed flawlessly and tasted delicious. Grade: A-

 

For Day 2 we're planning a special picnic from an undisclosed Phoenix landmark. Come back tomorrow for the deets.

 

Last Updated on Thursday, 01 October 2009 20:06
 
Cory Chisel and the Wandering Sons Print E-mail
Written by TFP   
Wednesday, 30 September 2009 17:14

cory-chisel-005If you're looking for an emerging artist to hitch your wagon to, allow us to introduce Cory Chisel and the Wandering Sons.

Record company heavy Ashley Harris, a great music mind and a heckuva blogger in her own right, got us listening to Chisel a few months ago when she jammed "Born Again" down our throats. We quickly annointed "Born Again" one of our favorite songs of the summer and picked up Death Won't Send a Letter when it dropped yesterday.

 

Check out "Born Again" here.

 

Death Won't Send a Letter is a throwback record that takes you on a journey to the Heartland. (Chisel is based in Appleton, Wis., but his roots stretch over to the Minnesota Iron Range and the mining village of Babbitt. You may have heard of another influential songwriter from those parts, one Robert Zimmerman, who grew up in Hibbing.)

Sexy, sweet and soulful, Death Won't Send a Letter is caked with religious overtones but it's never clear whether Chisel, the son of a Baptist preacher man, is an evangelist or an atheist (we're going with the former rather than the latter). There's some serious exploration going on here and when combined with Chisel's fashion sense, we can't help but think of "Deadwood."

His influences are mostly blues, rockabilly and folk and according to his Wikipedia page, Chisel comes from a long line of guitar players who turned him onto Dylan, Sam Cooke, Otis Redding, Robert Johnson and Aretha Franklin. That upbringing is sure evident in his music. For Death Won't Send a Letter, Chisel joined forces with vocalist and keyboard player Adriel Harris (pictured with Chisel above), guitarist Blake Mills (Jenny Lewis, Band of Horses), "Little Jack" Lawrence (The Raconteurs, The Dead Weather), Matt Chamberlain (Fiona Apple, Bob Dylan) on drums, Patrick Warren (Allison Krauss) on keyboards, with additional bass work by Justin Mendel-Johnson (Beck). Raconteur Brendan Benson, Chisel and Harris co-wrote "Born Again" and Benson co-produced four more tracks for the album.

 

Death Won't Send a Letter deserves your attention and if you have the means we highly recommend you pick up a copy.

 

Key tracks: "Born Again," "Angel of Mine," "My Heart Would Be There"

Last Updated on Wednesday, 30 September 2009 18:11
 
The PB + 1 Challenge Print E-mail
Written by TFP   
Wednesday, 30 September 2009 14:31

paulapbbananaWe were going through the motions on another beige Tuesday when a peculiar Facebook notification popped into our inbox:

 

Lindsay [Name Withheld] invited you to join the Facebook group "PB + 1 Challenge." 

 

With our curiosity piqued, we clicked the link for more information...

 

Welcome to the yummy PB+1 Challenge. Mmm... Peanut Butter.

The Challenge is to eat only peanut butter + 1 other ingredient sandwiches for lunch every day for an entire month. Yes, that means weekends, too ( or not, it's up to you). The +1 ingredient can be whatever is desired. Some ideas:

 

  • Jelly
  • Honey
  • Banana
  • Mashmallow Topping
  • Oranges
  • Pineapple
  • Bacon

The possibilities are endless.

You might be wondering if there is a point to this. There is not. Boredom and the need to compete in non-productive areas is the driving force.

The prize: The satisfaction in knowing you ate peanut butter sandwiches for a month. For a nominal fee, you can purchase yourself a trophy.

The initial time period for the challenge is Oct. 1-31. Anyone is welcome to join the challenge.

Rules:

  • Creamy or Chunky peanut butters are allowed.
  • A sandwich contains at least one piece of bread but no more than two.
  • Only one ingredient other than peanut buttter is allowed on each sandwich (bread does not count as an ingredient).
  • Side items are encouraged. We don't want anyone to starve. Chips, milk and fruit come highly recommended.

Additionally, please post any fun combinations you've discovered.

**DISCLAIMER**

Possible side effects may include Constipation, Co-worker Ridicule, Gas, Dry Mouth, Decreased Sex Drive (OK, maybe not), Increased Sex Drive (crosses fingers), Fatter Wallet

 

Signed,

Those Crazy PB+1 Organizers

___________________

 

Our immediate reactions:

 

"That Lindsay is one righteous babe."

"We sure do love peanut butter sandwiches."

"That sure is a lot of peanut butter sandwiches."

"Who the flip marries citrus and peanut butter?"

"How can this challenge boost our traffic numbers?"

 

So, we've accepted Lindsay's challenge and beginning tomorrow, we'll eat PB+1 sandwiches for the entire month of October, including weekends and bank holidays.

As if eating a month's worth of PB+1 sandwiches wasn't challenge enough, we're going to add our own pieces of flare and track the whole competition--including recipes, photos, reader feedback--right here on TFP.

 

It should be noted that our favorite peanut butter recipe of all time, Paula Dean's fried peanut butter and banana sandwich (see inset photo), is not eligible for consumption during this challenge under the +1 rule.

 

See you all tomorrow with PB+1 Sandwich No. 1...

 

Last Updated on Wednesday, 30 September 2009 15:52
 
The Songs of Summer Print E-mail
Written by TFP   
Wednesday, 23 September 2009 15:19

Flipping through some gifted backissues of Rolling Stone (thanks, Mineko!) we stumbled upon a mildly interesting graphic that revisits songs of summers past. Here's the RS list, along with our own self-indulgent thoughts. You'll also find our picks for the top jams of Summer '09, including a tasty little jukebox feature so you can take a listen yourselves. Enjoy, and feel free to nominate your favorite summer songs in the comments section.

 

1990

"The Humpty Dance," Digital Underground 

Who says summer songs are disposable? 20 years later, Sex Packets is still the balls.

 

1991digital-underground-253-l

"O.P.P.," Naughty By Nature

Hey! Ho! That is all.

 

1992

"Baby Got Back," Sir Mix-a-Lot

Like most things these days, makes us daydream of nights with Christina Hendricks.

 

1993

"Cannonball," The Breeders

Loved the video almost as much as we loved the Deal sisters.

 

1994

"Gin and Juice," Snoop Doggy Dogg

We cranked Snoop and Dre at every Friday Night Poker game, giving us as much street cred any white dudes living in Mankato could possibly have.

 

1995

"Waterfall," TLC

Admit it, you owned a copy of CrazySexyCool. We still do.

 

1996

"C'mon N' Ride It (The Train)," Quad City DJ's

It. Never. Happened.

 

1997

"Mo Money Mo Problems," The Notorious B.I.G.

Undeniably delicious. Those were simpler days, before Puffy changed his name and Mase entered the seminary.

 

1998

"Are You That Somebody," Aaliyah

This is not Timbaland's last appearance on this list.

 

1999

"Bawitdaba," Kid Rock

Oh, those crazy nights at Pluto's Planet in Superior, Wis.

 

2000

"The Real Slim Shady," Eminem

Marshall Mathers was so fresh back at the turn of the century. Now he's handing awards over to Lady GaGa.

 

2001

"Get Ur Freak On," Missy Elliot

Was this the one where Missy wore that inflated Glad trash bag? We honestly can't remember and that simply must be a good thing.

 

2002

"Hot In Herre," Nelly

In a word: regrettable.

 

2003

"Crazy In Love," Beyonce

As RS notes, this was B's first solo track following the tragic breakup of Destiny's Child (snicker).

 

2004

"Mr. Brightside," The Killers

True Story You Couldn't Care Less About: This was the first song we ever purchased on iTunes.

 

2005

"Gold Digger," Kanye West

Before he was a self-absorbed dickwad, Kanye was the truth.

 

2006

"Crazy," Gnarles Barkley

Danger Mouse went on to bigger and better things, like producing Beck records.

 

2007

"Umbrella," Rihanna

Incredibly well-written song masterfully covered by Manic Street Preachers and butchered by countless others.

 

2008

"Paper Planes," M.I.A.

You know, that song from Pineapple Express that wasn't actually in the movie.

 

2009

Rolling Stone's Pick

"Boom Boom Pow," Black Eyed Peas

Proof that the economy isn't the only thing in the toilet.

 

Our Picks

"1901," Phoenix

The good kind of infectious.

 

"Wilco (The Song)," Wilco

Who knew Jeff Tweedy could be so cheeky?

 

"Never Ending Summer," 311

Big ups to Jimmy.

 

"Empire State of Mind," Jay-Z feat. Alicia Keys

With all apologies to Lady GaGa, this was the best performance of the VMAs.

 

"The Fixer," Pearl Jam

We really do miss the 90s terribly.

 

"Born Again," Cory Chisel and the Wandering Sons

Big ups to Ashley Harris.

 

"Sleepyhead," Passion Pit

Go ahead, make your jokes.

 

"Dominos," The Big Pink

Great song. Unfortunate band name.

 

"Heavy Cross," The Gossip

A little something for the mopey Twilight kiddies.

 

"Percussion Gun," White Rabbits

If you don't like this we can't be friends.

 

"Blown Away," A Fine Frenzy

Love. Her.

 

"Treat Me Like Your Mother," The Dead Weather

In Jack White we trust.

 

"Games for Days," Julian Plenti

Former Interpol front man Paul Banks shocked us with his excellent solo debut. We always thought Carlos D was the talent in that band.

 

"My Friend Marcus," Manchester Orchestra

We've already preached this song's greatness ad nauseam.

 

 

 

Last Updated on Wednesday, 30 September 2009 15:59
 
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