Yeah, we're with Coco, but enough already.

NBC is spending so much time, energy and dignity deciding who will host its irrelevant late night talk show that it's ignoring the fact that as a network, it's in shambles.

If you're a fan of "The Biggest Loser" or one of the "Law & Order" shows, no offense, but what does NBC offer aside from two-and-a-half shows on Thursday evenings ("30 Rock," "Parks & Recreation" and "Community," which is super funny about half of the time) and Football Night in America (four months out of the year). And if you remind us that the Winter Olympics are starting up in a couple of weeks we'll punch you square in your stupid face.

NBC's ineptness was never more apparent than over the course of the last two nights, when we watched six hours of really great television over on FOX. Yeah, FOX. We're as surprised as you.

But not only does FOX boast ratings giants "So You Think You Can Do Something On TV" and "American Idol," but it also lays claim to smart and captivating shows like "Fringe," "24" and now "Human Target."

FOX deserves special fist bumps for the first four hours of "24," which aired Sunday and Monday. Maybe we've finally managed to suspend all reflexes to think critically while we watch the show, or maybe the creative team just got better. Whatever the reason, Jack's back, along with sourpuss Chloe, suddenly psycho Renee, and new additions Freddie Prinze Jr (laughably cast as a CTU ground ops leader) and Mykelti Williamson, who famously played Lavander "Bird" Williams on the Goldie Hawn star vehicle Wildcats. The more things change on "24" (CTU is in New York and Kim has a daughter) the more they stay the same (no background checks on CTU employees): Jack can't break free from government service even though he's been repeatedly shunned, fired, jailed, beaten, framed and even handed over to the Chinese government. Sometimes the show is at its best when it's at its worst (even with awful casting like President Taylor). At any rate, we're glad to have it back, especially when all NBC can give us is reality shows and backbiting talk show hosts. Hopefully Conan, Andy Richter and Max Weinberg will join the winning team soon.

When we told people we were going to interview "The Soup" host and "Community" star Joel McHale, some warned us that he'd be a jerkwad.

"I've heard he's a total dick," one in-the-know friend of the Web site told us.

Being longtime McHale fans this news was most unsettling. We banked on the dude being acerbic, but a dick? That would be a punch in the groin.

A similar situation came up a couple of years ago when we had the opportunity to interview "The Office" star Rainn Wilson, who was in Scottsdale stumping for the Mona Foundation. We psyched ourselves up for the Q&A because like McHale, we had some serious dude love going on for Dwight K. Schrute at the time (and still do, to a lesser extent, mostly because it's become clear that "The Office" has seen its best days). It was an out-of-body experience chit-chatting with a celebrity we totally dug while trying to act like a professional and not at all like a school girl trying to snatch a lock of hair from Edward or Jacob. The interview with Wilson went better than we could have ever expected and confirmed everything we ever thought about him to be true, allowing us to walk away bromance in tact.

Despite the McHale interview taking place over the phone we were hoping for a similar result. "The Soup," is one of the few shows we watch every single week and "Community" is hilarious, especially when compared to "Kath & Kim." More importantly, McHale strikes us a dude with whom it would be fun to sit around, drink scotch and swap stories with. You know, a dude's dude who just happens to make his living on screen. H's not the only celebrity we like to imagine we could hang out with if given the access; Vince Vaughn, Andy Richter, Chelsea Handler and Kristen Wiig all have roster spots on our fantasy co-ed bowling team.

Anyway, McHale called precisely when his people said he would, asked politely if he could call back 20 minutes later ("Sorry to be such a douche but I'll owe you for this."), and even gave us 20 minutes when we were only promised 10. When we were done with the interview he thanked us repeatedly by name and said he hoped to cross paths at his upcoming concert. He was sincere enough that we gave him an alternate spot on the bowling team. 

Here are highlights from our conversation (the McHale piece, which previews his show at Dodge Theatre on New Year's Eve is over on DowntownPhoenix.com):

On his uber-successful 2009...

"Being successful professionally helps me be a better dad, which is my primary job."

On his role in "Community"...

"People can't rely on my character to always have the right answer and I like that."

On "The Soup" skewering philosophy...

"We don't go after people who don't deserve it. If you're on a reality show you're trying your hardest not to work for a living and that makes you fair game."

On his opening act, Donald Glover (son of Lethal Weaponer Danny Glover, who plays Troy on "Community")...

"I was just glad he said yes. He's really one of the funniest people out there. Insanely talented guy."

  
In summary, Joel McHale is not a dick.

Welcome to the playoffs! Well, it's not all happy times in fantasy land. For every eight of you who are prepping for your first-round opponent, there are four of you who turn the channel everytime Matthew Berry appears on your television. OK, we all do that. But seriously, because we editors are such swell guys, here are some 2010 draft tips to help the less-fortunate be less-crappy next season.

Tip #1 / Don't draft a kicker in the 12th round, if at all. What do Vernon Davis, Sidney Rice, Miles Austin and Percy Harvin have in common? They were all taken after Round 12 in this here league. Shouldn't you have used your last four draft picks trying to hit the lottery rather than securing the services of Neil Rackers or John Kasay?

Tip #2 / Don't overvalue good wide receivers who play with horrible or suspect quarterbacks. Remember when Steve Smith 1.0 was a Top 5 WR? Or when Calvin Johnson was going in the late first or early second round? Braylon Edwards? Terrell Owens? Antonio Bryant? They all play for teams with sub-par quarterbacks and they've all fallen way short of their preseason projections. Remember when Randy Moss disappeared for two years in Oakland? Who was his quarterback? Kerry Collins. Let's move on.

Tip #3 / Don't get drunk at the draft. Nothing good can come from this, unless of course you blacked out on blended Canadian whiskey but somehow ended up with Brett Favre, Joseph Addai, Thomas Jones, Brandon Marshall, Donald Driver, Robert Meachem, Visanthe Shiancoe and the Saints defense, a team that earned you ridicule Week One and a bye in Week 14. The lesson: Nobody knows shit.

Now, how about we gnaw on some picks, eh?

Last Week: 4-2

Season: 37-29

Trader Dave (8-5) vs. Team Timmy (7-6)

Timmy begins the week in a deep hole because Big Ben and Rashard Mendenhall combined for just six points against the lowly Browns Thursday night. No matter, we were going to pick Trader Dave anyway (wink, wink). With Mark Sanchez out, we're kinda digging Tommy Lee Jones (@TB) and Greg Jennings (@CHI). Yeah, yeah, we fall in love with Jennings every week but keep in mind his line last time out against the Bears (6 grabs, 106 yards and a TD). Trader Dave 56, Team Timmy 49.

Pastor Steve (7-6) vs. Pastor Jon (7-6)

The Rogue Guido dodged the injury bug this week when it was announced that Brady (vs CAR) would play Sunday despite a bum [insert body part] and DeSean Jackson (@NYG) appears to be fine after after getting his cage rattled against the Falcons. That said, we don't like his running back situation (Jacobs vs PHI and Forte vs GB) and it's hard to put much stock in a team that starts Oakland on defense. DeAngelo Williams (@NE) is returning to the starting lineup for the Panthers and Ray Rice (vs DET) should bounce back nicely following his worst game of the season Monday against the Packers. Who's Johnny, she said, and smiled in her special way. Johnny, she said, I know I love you. El Debarge, ladies and gentlemen. Pastor Jon 71, Pastor Steve 60.

Pastor Kirk (8-5) vs. Little Sowers (6-7)

These two teams couldn't be more different. Kirk is riding a five-game win streak that pushed him to the regular season championship and the No. 1 seed. Little Sowers, meanwhile, has lost five of six games and limps into the  playoffs at 6-7. Hard not to like the hot team in this one. Who knew that Jamaal Charles (vs BUF) and Robert Meachem (@ATL) would be playoff difference-makers? Kirk did. Pastor Kirk 74, Little Sowers 59.

TFP (8-5) vs. Pastor Mike (6-7)

The No. 2 seed should be very nervous this week. Jay Cutler (vs GB) Joe Addai (vs DEN), MJD (vs MIA), and Vernon Davis (vs AZ) are all certified sexy matchups. Plus, when you factor in the completely opposite pedigrees of the two teams (Mike has two titles, TFP hasn't made it past the second round of the playoffs, like, ever), there's good reason to believe in the upset. Pastor Mike 83, TFP 58.

Good luck, fellas. Here's a Random Song Worth Your Time.

We'll leave you with a "Jersey Shore" Quote of the Week. This week's comes from Snooki, who is dumber than a pancake. In rationalizing why she made out with "The Situation" (picture above, right) in the hot tub, she said. "Mike can be a nice guy. He shows his good side and then he shows off his jerkoff side. Tha't what I like a good guy and a jerkoff. It's all the same."

Heading into Wednesday's "Top Chef: Las Vegas" finale we had mixed emotions. On one hand we were delighted to see the three most deserving chefs (The Voltaggio Brothers, Michael and Bryan, and our fried and joy Southern Ginger Bear, Kevin) advance to the last episode. They were clearly the most dominant competitors over the duration of the season; Kevin was the points leader in Fantasy Top Chef and the Voltaggio's sibling rivalry provided some punch in an otherwise workmanlike albeit entertaining season. But on the other hand, there's something exciting about an underdog (Stephanie), undeserving (Carla) or unlikeable (Lisa) chef crashing the finale party.

Anyway, this season's finale opened back in Napa, not Las Vegas, with Kevin announcing that "the brothers are going to bring it." We imagined Michael overhearing this and shouting, "OH, it's already been BRUNG!"

For the Final Challenge, the three chefs received some predictable help from castoff soux chefs. Kevin drew Preeti and Ash, Bryan drew Jennifer and Ashley, and Michael drew Jesse and Eli. Obviously, Kevin got shafted in this draw while Bryan made out like a horse thief. We liked the shit-eating grin Michael proudly displayed when he drew Eli for his second soux. Likewise, Eli looked like a hack golfer who'd just won a golf outing with pre-scandal Tiger Woods. Nobody drew Robin, and for that we're all winners.

Each chef was responsible for a three-course meal. For the first course the chefs had to use the same assigned ingredients. The second course was chef's choice, and the third was the always dreaded dessert.

At Cyrus, the chefs found their mystery boxes of ingredients, which contained rock fish, crab, kabocha squash (what?), meyer lemon, anise (who doesn't love anise?), and Dice-K Matsuzaka mushrooms. Bryan seems to be the only chef embracing his soux chefs, which isn't at all surprising; Michael is a rogue of the Bill Belicheck mold and Kevin drew two goobers who had no business being in the competition to start with. Who'd trust Preeti to boil water?

After the first courses had been completed, the chefs' moms stopped by to provide some last-minute inspiration and encouragement. Apparently, it took mom's doting to make Michael realize he's competing against his brother. Kevin seemed to respond the best to this surprise, discovering he's got more fight than he gives himself credit for. With the arrival of the mothers, so came a twist: the three course-meal was now a four-course menu, with the extra course representing a childhood memory/dedication to mom. Loved that Bryan went with his bent on tuna casserole, using sardines in place of cured tuna. Michael used broccoli because, well, he hated it. This dish was an ode to Mom Voltaggio because she was a single mom who always made her boys eat what was good for them, even if they detested it. Coming from Michael, this seemed borderline sweet. Kevin made fried chicken because he's a fat kid who likes to eat Sunday Dinner-style comfort food that tastes good. No wonder we love Ginger Bear so freaking much. Oh, and he worked bacon into his dessert. Genius (maybe).

Besides the desserts, we were digging the chef's choice courses most because in reality, executive chefs and restaurateurs don't do anything they don't want to do (that's why they work their asses off to be the boss).While challenging tasks, they don't cook out of mystery boxes, they don't make sentimental dishes on the fly, and they certainly don't concoct desserts (they farm that shit out to BAKERS).

With the moms (and Toby, blach) sitting at the table, the finalists plated and served their competition-breaking dishes. Kevin's fried chicken over seasoned tomatoes seemed to go over well, Bryan's sardine casserole was universally panned and the decisions were split on Michael's freeze-dried broccoli and shrimp number.

(Side Note: While at first we thought bringing in the moms was a hokey time-filler, they were probably the highlight of the show.)

For the mystery box dishes, Kevin's dish was just OK, Bryan's curry fish was ho-hum, and Michael's was the clear-cut winner.

Third in points heading into the chef's choice round, Bryan needed to deliver and deliver he did with his venison saddle. Kevin's pork belly with roasted brussel sprouts wasn't an overwhelming winner or loser, but it passed. Michael, of course, went all fancy schmancy with a fennel-scented scuab and mushrooms that was much appreciated, but not hailed. One food heavy called it a "gimmick." Ouch.

For dessert, Kevin did roasted bananas with chocolate/banana mousse and bacon brittle, Bryan made a cheesecake with fig sorbet and basil, and Michael did a chocolate caramel coulant with candied pumpkin seeds and butternut ice cream. Seemed like Bryan won the dessert round, too, but it's so hard to tell with so many mouths at the table.

With three guys so evenly matched and nobody serving anything inedible for the final meal, we couldn't predict who'd win and the judges' table deliberations reaffirmed those feelings. There's just not anything bad to say about any of the three finalist. As often as we aired our distaste for the manufactured drama of the Voltaggio sibling rivalry we literally laughed out loud at Michael, when asked why he should be Top Chef answered, "I just don't want Bryan to be Top Chef." Classic. Michael came across far-less douchy this episode. Being a great chef is all he's ever wanted to do and it's all he's ever been good at. We can forgive him for being a bit much. 

The judges awarded the title and the $100K to Michael. Now, we could rant and rave about how Bravo overplayed the Voltaggio card all season but in the end, both those dudes cooked their balls off and Michael was justly awarded for his creativity and drive, both of which were off-the-charts.

As for the inaugural season of Fantasy Top Chef, Joe G. won the title by a five-point margin, which sucks since we're pretty sure Joe didn't watch a single episode after Episode 4. Even so, we'll do it again next year.